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View Full Version : Light Bulb Jokes LBPete 07-12-2007, 09:25 PM How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins. - Pete gearhead 07-12-2007, 09:55 PM How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? Three---one to change the bulb, and two to write a song about the old one. gearhead 07-12-2007, 09:58 PM How many ADD boys does it take to change a light bulb? ...HEY! LET'S GO RIDE OUR BIKES!! ozmoid 07-12-2007, 11:29 PM How does a lead guitarist change a lightbulb? He holds it up and the world revolves around him. ozmoid 07-12-2007, 11:29 PM In the 22nd century..how many guitarists will it take to replace a light source ?? Five..one to actually do it ...and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were. Dusty Chalk 07-13-2007, 12:54 AM How many drummers does it take to change a light-bulb? None -- they have machines to do that now. How many bassists does it take to change a light-bulb? 101 -- 1 to change it, and a hundred to argue about how they could have done it better. And this one is my favourite, I have no idea why: http://warehouse.carlh.com/article_141/necrophobic.jpg mulester7 07-13-2007, 09:35 AM .....how many divorced men does it take to screw in an light bulb?..... .....none....you think they get the house?..... mulester7 07-13-2007, 09:46 AM Q. How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb? A1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? A2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. A3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! A4. Rottweiler: Make me. A5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. A6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! A7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I lead these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. A8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. A9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? A10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. A11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. A12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ... A13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? A14. New Zealand Sheep Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little cluster... A15. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, idiot. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?" hpsenicka 07-13-2007, 09:51 AM How many Microsoft employees does it take... ?? None... Bill just declared darkness is the new standard! Tapehead47 07-13-2007, 09:52 AM great jokes! I have to write them down. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? "I'll sit in the dark" mulester7 07-13-2007, 10:00 AM .....how many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?..... .....none, they set aside appropriations for a new program called "Dealing With Darkness", and the money disappears, haha...... Holst 07-13-2007, 10:42 AM How many women does it take to change a light bulb. 13 IT JUST DOES, OK!!!!! Holst 07-13-2007, 10:44 AM How many dyslexics does it bulb to take a change-light... Holst 07-13-2007, 10:45 AM How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. But the lightbulb has to want to change. pahtcenter77 07-13-2007, 10:46 AM What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a light bulb Holst 07-13-2007, 10:47 AM How many 60's folk singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 6: one to do it, and five to complain because it's electric. Holst 07-13-2007, 10:48 AM How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "Like wow...I didn't know you could do that in a lightbulb." Holst 07-13-2007, 10:48 AM How many Zen Buddists does it take to change a light bulb? Two-one to screw it in and one to not screw it in. Holst 07-13-2007, 10:49 AM How many post whores does it take to..... ....I mean How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to put in the light bulb and another to say," it makes you look ten years younger!" How many men does it take? Just one. But He will brag to his buddies about how long it took and how hot it was! SPL db 07-13-2007, 01:34 PM How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, one to hold the bulb and one to drink until the room spins. That could be a while... :rolleyes: :D Scott Army 07-13-2007, 01:42 PM How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two and I have no idea how they got in there... LBPete 07-14-2007, 01:49 AM That could be a while... :rolleyes: :D Scott Sometimes it takes days! - Pete |