This was utterly the most pitiful waste of 30 seconds in my life. I can not even believe that CNN has this under their top stories.

Bush falls off bike (http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/05/22/bush.fall/index.html)


I can read the next headline now...

" Bush now wears size 38 pants. This is a step up from his previous size of a 36. The change was noticed as Mr president was shopping for some black dockers to wear at dinner tuesday night. Shopping with him was his personal fasion designer, his security advisor and three secret service agents. At this time it still remains unknown if he purchased the pants but if any updates occur we will be sure to keep you informed"

STOP THE PRESSES !!

CNN reports that President Bush very loudly passed gas while stepping out of his Limo yesterday. His wife who was exiting directly behind him appeared to object ( presumably about the media types hovering nearby).

While this report has yet to be independently confirmed it has also been reported by CNN that Senator Kerry had somehow slipped Pinto Beans into the president's soup.

CNN officials state that further developments will be reported as they occur or as and when requested.

THIS IS A CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT....

This is Dan Rather, CBS news, New York. We have just recieved an unconfirmed report, repeat, an unconfirmed report that President Bush farted while on a campaign stop in Ohio. Initial reports say the President was delivering an address to corporate buddies when the explosion occourred. Sources close to the President say someone slipped a substance known as fart powder into his food. This is not officially confirmed. All we know is that President Bush farted while on a campaign stop. We will bring you updates on tonight's CBS Evening News or we will break in if the situation warrants. This is Dan Rather, CBS News, New York. We return you to As the World Turns.

30 SECONDS LATER, JUST AS THE STORY IS GETTING INTERESTING:

This is Dan Rather, CBS News. We have just recieved a report that third party candidate Ralph Nader is suspected of slipping fart powder into the President's food. We go to Washington to Walter Cronkite...

CRONKITE (off mic): I can't believe we're covering this bullshit.
(pause)

FLOOR DIRECTOR (off camera): Walter...you're on...

CRONKITE: The President was giving a speech when the fart occourred. He later blamed the Democrats, saying that Democrats give him gas. When asked about Ralph Nader slipping the substance into his lunch, the President said simply "Oh, Shit."
The White House issued a statement saying that there were no injuries reported. Witnesses say that when the President farted, the crowd gathered to see him immediately stampeded for the exits. And that's the way it is. Back to New York.

DAN RATHER: We will bring you more on the CBS Evening News. Wait. Get the paper and pencils, write this down. This is going to be a big one. Grope somebody inappropriately and get out the whiskey. CBS is about to give a projection. CBS now projects that I have gas. Yes, CBS now projects that I, Dan Rather, have gas.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

This has been a CBS News Special Report.

Can someone tell me what is a " degree in humanities "

oh god.... i just looked at the article again and they added a pic and some more stuff. This one is even better than falling off the bike

"In January 2002, Bush fainted for a brief time in the residence of the White House while eating a pretzel and watching a professional football game on television."

Fortunatly he landed on his head and is not injured.......... back to you Dan.

Originally posted by grumpy
Can someone tell me what is a " degree in humanities "

Go ask 95% of the employees at any Starbucks or coffee shop in a mall :D

Originally posted by Haoleb
oh god.... i just looked at the article again and they added a pic and some more stuff. This one is even better than falling off the bike

"In January 2002, Bush fainted for a brief time in the residence of the White House while eating a pretzel and watching a professional football game on television."

Better yet was papa GHWB barfing his miso soup in the lap of the Japanese prime minister at a state dinner, then fainting. I feel for the guy, as I had flu that year as well and it was lousy, but I just have to grin when I see a politician screw up in public. What's the German word, 'schadenfreude', pleasure at someone else's misfortune?