JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.



MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.



SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you dumb #$%!"



HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.



HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.




GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

:rofl:

Little Miss Muffet was selling her tuffet
For 65 bucks a lay.
Then along came a spider who wanted inside her
But couldn't afford to pay.

:D

There was an Old Woman/ Who lived in a Shoe/ She had so many children/ Her Ass fell thru....-Sandy G.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would --- ffffffffall off

Just how gross can we get here? I'm cooking up a parody of "bungle in the jungle" that might be worth a laugh

Wasn't this a bit of Andrew Dice Clay schtick from a few years back? ("What's in the bowl, bitch?")

Mine was cribbed from a Doug Clark & The Hot Nuts album c. 1972...The Diceman was still a wee lad who hadn't even realised his "clock" was funny...-Sandy G.

From George Carlin...

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie, stuck in
his thumb and pulled out a plum,
and said "Holy S&#@ am I high!"

Scott :D

Little boy blew but it wasn't a horn
His dad's into leather, his mommy's in porn

Mary had a little lamb
His name was Ebenezer.
Every time he jumped the fence
She saw his lemon squeezer.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds any way
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And she ate that too ... :)

Fromk Andrew Dice Clay- The Diceman Cometh

Hickory dickory dock this chick was suckin my c^&%
The clock struck 2, I dumped my g&$
and I dumped the B&^%# off on the next block

3 blind mice see how they run
where the f^$*
are they goin

Mary had a little lamb she kept in her backyard
when she takes her panties off his wooley d*@# got hard

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffit eating her curds and whey
along came a spider and sat down besider and said "Hey whats in the bowl
b!%#*"

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fifty!