Smother it!

[Army]

My Father once told me he could eat dirt if it was smothered in enough butter and sugar! BTW Mom was an awesome cook (Dad was refering to harder times I think or was it a newlywed thing :scratch2: :D )

I'll share my (then newlywed) wifes receipt for rock hard (break formica) tollhouse cookies, smothered in or soaked in coffee for an hour! It's a trade secret, now used instead of rock crushing machines in our area!

So who's cooking do you need to smother something in?

[Urizen]

My ex-wife's.

Had to smother her cooking once...

with a fire extinguisher.:thumbsdn:

[Army]

Yesterday I was in a hurry trying to make lunch.

A bacon and egg sandwich sounded good, thru the bacon in the pan, turned on some fire, walked over to throw on some tunes. My daughter who'd been away at college, forgot how to shut the stereo off. In the process she thru every switch and turned every knob.

By the time I got things sorted out, there was a mushroom cloud developing in the kitchen.

I couldn't smother that sandwich in enough ketchup :no:

My Wife and I have had numerous laughable cooking moments :yes:

Lets hear some of yours.

[RichPA]

My Wife and I have had numerous laughable cooking moments :yes:

Lets hear some of yours.

Well, of course there was the first time I roasted a turkey - nobody told me there would be a bag of "parts" inside, though I did find them after the fact.

And the time a pan of scalloped potatoes overflowed and started a fire - of course there were guests in the house. I opened the oven and grabbed the pan, my wife grabbed the fire extinguisher, and - best of all - a guest took the battery out of the smoke detector!

My favorite laughable cooking moment is my Mom's, though - just married, first time she tried to make biscuits - got the amounts of flour and salt backwards. One of those biscuits is still in original condition 50+ years later.

[luvvinvinyl]

My wife and I had been married a short time, and just moved back to Windsor. My wife, an EXCELLENT cook, was a bit nervous about hosting dinner for my parents, first time in the new house. She decided on my mother's trusted recipe for Chicken Cacciatore, and wanted to use the crockpot that my mother had gotten her, as a shower gift. Well, dried herbs can be REALLY intensified in a crockpot, if you don't know to reduce the amount. Two teaspoons of oregano, and eight hours in the crockpot. I'll just say that it was 'adventuresome' dining. Though the three of us could not choke it down, my father, much to my wife's surprise, went back for seconds, pronouncing it, "Delicious". My mother NEVER made Cacciatore again.

Come to think of it, neither has my wife, and this is 29 years later.

[OvenMaster]

So much for my ID of OvenMaster... OvenIdiot is more like it, because every time I try to broil meats, I set off the smoke alarm and fill the house with smoke. The very first time I tried to broil hamburgers, splattering fat collected on the upper surface of the electric oven and promptly caught fire, just like when a room ceiling burns. The burgers tasted just okay.
Tom

[fabvsix]

I had turkey drums in a pressure cooker. The seal broke and the pressure cooker exploded. I had turkey legs all over my kitchen. What a mess.....last time I used a pressure cooker...... :nono: :nono:

[bentpencil]

I started cooking when I was about 12, so I have made so many mistakes that this website doesn't have enough room for them all. Therefore, I'll pick on my dear mother, who will turn 80 tomorrow.

Years ago, mom got on a health food binge. One afternoon, she whipped up a batch of cookies that not only were good for you, but had hardly any calories. You all know that that combination, when associated with cookies, cannot taste good. They had wheat bran and tofu and soy something and carum (?) and who knows what else in them. Problem is, they looked good, kinda like a dark oatmeal cookie.

That night her and dad went out to dinner, and when I came in the house, I grabbed a few and took a bite. It almost made me barf. Not wanting to put them back on the plate having handled them, I opened the back door and tossed them to my St. Bernard who was sitting in the breezeway. He'd eat anything but potatoes. I went back in the house and started watching TV, when I heard them drive up. Moments later, the back door opens, and mom yells at me to get out there. When I make it to the back porch, she points to the concrete and says, "Your damn dog crapped on the breezeway!" When I saw it was actually her cookies, I reached down, picked one up, and said "Gotta be pretty bad when the dog won't even eat them!!!"

My dad almost had a stroke laughing!!!