I just heard this song from Nickelback. What girls heart would not melt if you sang the following to her:

"I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease"

Artist: Nickelback
Song: Figured You Out

And they say romance is dead!

Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth Cause I 'm Kissing You Good-bye.

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

"I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease"

You'd be surprised..lol

If I'm singing, preferrably an instrumental.

Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth Cause I 'm Kissing You Good-bye.

Which just goes to prove that even John Denver could get pissed off...

My personal favorite "I hate every bone in your body but mine"

Now, back to the show:

That great country song, "I Used To Kiss Her Lips, But Now It's All Over"

"Don't let the screen door hit ya on yer way out."

Murray

Another country one...

"Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed."

Interestin thread,

Getting back to the OP, my wife loves that song! And I love her for that!

o/` Take Back Your Heart, I ordered Liver, Dear o/`

:scratch2: You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals
why don't we do it like they do on the discovery channel. :smoke:

Bloodhound gang.

If The Phone Doesn't Ring ,It's Me

"You're Breakin' My Heart, You're Tearin' it Apart, So F**k You..."-Old Nilsson song

...Or howzabout, "You're the Reason Our Kids are So Ugly..."....

"My girlfriend ran away with my best friend. I'm sure gonna to miss him"

Terry

Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you.
We should have a threesome
With your sister Sue
Tell your cousin Mary
She can join us too
I'll still call you sweetheart
Even when we're through!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Thank you

I found you Ms New Booty
Get it together and bring it back to me :scratch2:

Deilia's gone, one more round, Delias gone.
The first time I shot her, I shot her in the side,
hard to watch her suffer,
but on the second shot she died...

Johnny Cash
The Man In Black------- Go Johnny Go!!

Tried singing once. My wife told me to STFU. :nono:

Remember the one Loretta Lynn had back in the late '70s- "I Want You Outta My Head, & Back In My Bed..." Not one to mince words, was she ? Not a "romantic" song, but still one that brings a big, stupid grin to my face is "Have You Heard the Words of the Lord ? Jesus might be comin' in a '49 Ford..."

I Just Can't Let You Say Goodbye - Willie Nelson

The flesh around your throat is pale
indented by my fingernails
Please don't scream and please don't cry
cause I just can't let you say goodbye
Your voice is still it speaks no more
you'll never hurt me anymore
Death is a friend to love and I
cause now you'll never say goodbye


Very disturbing....

Alan

I was eschewing this thread due to my conviction that the subject heading actually indicated the subject matter.

My mistake. I'm lolling.

Same here, Dusty. I was feeling onry enough to post, and they're all worse than what I was thinking of posting!
Anyway, here's a Ron Wood song from '79-
"You should've been buried alive, 'cause you're far too pretty to die"
Same album, different song-
"You are my infection, I can't cut you out of my life"
Then there's Uncle Ted Nugent's "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang."

Oh tell me how could I not miss a girl your size
How could i not miss the puffy hips, the wattery thighs
Oh my broken heart would just wail
for the girl that broke my scale
for the girl who used to eat Texas size.
Oh tell me how could I not miss a girl your size

Martin Mull and his Fabulous Furniture "from In your livingroom".

Buffet- "Why don't we get drunk"

Can't believe no one else thought of that one

Beatles, "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

This has to be one of the best there ever was:
"Huggin' and Chalkin'" by Hoagy Charmichal

I got a gal who's mighty sweet
Big blue eyes and tiny feet
Her name is Rosabelle Magee
And she tips the scales at three-oh-three

Oh, gee, but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
That when you go to hug her, you don't know where you're at
You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a ways and chalk a mark to see where you began

One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-chalkin' and a-huggin' away
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other way over the mountain
A-comin' around the other way



Nobody ever said I'm weak
My bones don't ache, my joints don't creak
But I grow pale and I get limp
Every time I see my baby blimp

Oh, gee, but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
That when you go to hug her
(You don't know where you're at)
(You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand)
(And hug a bit and chalk a mark to see where you began)

One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-beggin' her to be my bride
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other side (over the mountain)
A-comin' around the other side


She's a mile wide!
(Chalkin' up a markdown and yellin' "No More!")
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other side (over the mountain)
Over the Great Divide!!

Baby gal and her boyfriend borrow daddies car to go on a date. This is daddies questioning to the boyfriend the next day:
"Was it you that did the pushin',
that left stains on my cushions.
And footprints on the dashboard upside down?
Was it your slender hickey
that got in my daughter Vicky?
If it was you better leave this here town!"

To which the boyfriend replied:

"It was me that did the pushin'
I left stains on your cushions.
And footprints on the dashboard upside down.
Ever since I was with your daughter,
I've had trouble passin' water.
I think I'll go ahead and leave this here town.

After reading these all I have to say is.....Wow! :rolleyes: You guys are SO bad....

Guess this would be the appropriate place to add this song that I've heard before:

:sing: Nuthin could be fina,
than to be in her vagina,
in the moorrrrrning! :sing:

:no: :nono:

"Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone" Bill Withers. Gets'em behind the bedroom
door everytime!
:smoke: :naughty:

The Brian Jonestown Massacre

B.S.A.

going to buy a motorcycle
so i can chase her down the street
never seen nothing like her
she nearly knocked me off my feet

it's going to be a long cold winter
but i feel so warm
when i'm in her
when i'm in her arms

she goes off like a shot-gun
she's got me begging on my knees
like a kiss from jesus
made me forget my disease

i'm going to steal a motorcycle
so i can chase her down the street
never seen nothing like her
she nearly knocked me off my feet

got a feeling
i'm going in deep
through your skinny arms around me
until i can't breath
and stop running away
stop running away from me

ah-ha-ha-ha-ah-ha-ah-ha-yeah!

stop running away
stop running away from me!
stop running away
stop running away from me!

ah-ha-ah-ha-ha-ha-ah-ha-yes!

Hank Williams Jr.

OD'd in Denver

We started the tour out in Denver Colorado
I made the first one but I did not make the second show
Cause I met this girl there that brought about quite a big change
But I OD'd in Denver and I just can't remember her name

I guess you could say that my love life would not up to part
Too many nights alone had left some permanence scars
She told me she'd love me and I told her I'd do the same
Then I OD'd in Denver and I just can't remember her name

I brought it on myself and I guess that I shouldn't complain
Doc said son you can't do anymore of that cocaine
But she made me higher than all of those expensive things
But I OD'd in Denver and wish I could remember her name

I turned to other things tryin' to make my daydreams real
But they don't take the place of the woman's face and her feels
She treated me nice and I like to find her again
But I OD'd in Denver and I just can't remember her name

I brought it on myself...
Kinda overdid it in Denver and I just can't remember her name

meower, so do you know the first verse to that song too ?????

Son Seals

Your Love Is Like A Cancer

Your love is just like a cancer, woman
Lord, eating away my life
But if your loving can kill me woman
Lord knows that I don't mind dying

Every morning when I get up now
Lord and see your smiling face
You know it makes me feel so good child
that I know I can make my place

Leaving you at any time
Lord it is so dog gone hard
But I want you to have everything woman
That make me go right home to my job

The doctor says when you are sick, child
Oh, sometimes he make you well
But if your disease can kill me, woman
Let me go right straight on to Hell


I am not sure I got all these lyrics right, but I am think I am close. This is the best blues song of the 70s.

I was eschewing this thread due to my conviction that the subject heading actually indicated the subject matter.

My mistake. I'm lolling.

Sorry bout that! My sarcastic sense of humour doesn't always come across to clearly online... :)