Impending Divorce

[SuperjazzyJa]

As of November 19, 2014, my wife and I will have been married 26 years.

After all these years, we have come to a place where we can not reconcile our differences. So, with the holidays and 4 birthdays under one roof all happening between September and December, we decided to co-habitate until January. At that point, we'll go our separate ways and put the house up for sale, etc. So, in the unlikely event that anyone has wondered where I have been, I have been dealing with this. Updates will be posted for those interested.

 

[mulester7]

After all these years, we have come to a place where we cannot reconcile our differences.

.....so, what are the irreconcilable differences from your point of view?....and, how would she respond to the same question?.....

 

[Sleep]

That's rough. There's a thread here about my divorce, it sure is a process, not an easy one. Ups and downs, I'm having a bad day today for example. Hoping the bad days become less and less frequent.

Keep your head up, there's lots of support here.

 

[NickDanger55]

Been there, done that. For me it was a relief. Some bad days to be sure, but they were few and far between. Many years later and I wouldn't change a thing. Life is as good as you make it.

 

[Sandy G]

Very sorry to hear this.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

That's rough. There's a thread here about my divorce, it sure is a process, not an easy one. Ups and downs, I'm having a bad day today for example. Hoping the bad days become less and less frequent.

Keep your head up, there's lots of support here.

Yes, I recently re-read your OP and tried to send a PM which not only didn't go through, but disappeared altogether.

Do you have some sort of support from family, friends, clergy, etc? My sister has been a there for me all along and her husband has been supportive as well. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. I am praying for you Sleep. It seems that you have really been hit hard/blind sided. With us, things just fell apart and we agreed to call it quits. I know that the road ahead won't be without problems, but we are both working toward an amicable split. :thmbsp:

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

.....so, what are the irreconcilable differences from your point of view?....and, how would she respond to the same question?.....

No offense and I appreciate your concern, but that gets into the personal end of this. Suffice to say, we do agree on what those differences are. We don't agree on a solution other than parting.

 

[Sleep]

Oh, sorry, I never saw that pm.

I do have some support from friends and family, and the thread here on AK has been full of excellent insight and advice. I really benefited from reading everyone's posts, and working things through in my head by writing it out.

I'm at that "getting better" phase now, mostly. The dreams I've had set me back a bit, but I've been through that off and on. Almost 8 months in, I'm still kind of shocked that things are the way they are, but for myself, things have worked out better than I imagined in those first few days.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Very sorry to hear this.

Thanks brother! I am going to get through this. Rest assured. :yes:

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Oh, sorry, I never saw that pm.

I do have some support from friends and family, and the thread here on AK has been full of excellent insight and advice. I really benefited from reading everyone's posts, and working things through in my head by writing it out.

I'm at that "getting better" phase now, mostly. The dreams I've had set me back a bit, but I've been through that off and on. Almost 8 months in, I'm still kind of shocked that things are the way they are, but for myself, things have worked out better than I imagined in those first few days.

Not your fault. Some sort of glitch ate the PM.

I'm glad you have people helping you to cope. AK is great, but someone you know from face to face contact should be included IMO.

 

[bowtie427ss]

I am going to get through this.

Yes, i believe you will as those are the words of a winner/survivor. Optimism, and positivity are your best friends in the worst times.

When you finally arrive, and you will, enjoy the new adventure. :yes:

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Been there, done that. For me it was a relief. Some bad days to be sure, but they were few and far between. Many years later and I wouldn't change a thing. Life is as good as you make it.

That's part of what helps me get thru. I know that there is something, even if not someone (a little old for a new someone), better on the other end of the tunnel. Right now, I'm just looking forward to having my own place and beginning a new life.

 

[SuperjazzyJa]

Thanks for your support everyone, including those who have yet to post. You guys are great!

 

[RichPA]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're coping with it as well as can be expected - better, really. Been through it myself, almost 30 years ago. May you find peace and happiness on the other side.

 

[MikeT.]

Sorry to hear about your divorce. It's tough on anyone and everyone involved no matter what the cause.

 

[slow_jazz]

'very sorry to hear about all your going thru...

hang in there....

 

[Rome]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're coping with it as well as can be expected - better, really. Been through it myself, almost 30 years ago. May you find peace and happiness on the other side.

This!

Been divorced almost 25 years!

Rome

 

[Tripqzon]

I am divorced almost 3 years now due to irreconcilable differences. Take it from me and don't isolate yourself. That is one of the worst things you can do. I put on a bunch of weight, lost communications with my friends and ended up on an antidepressant. Last year something clicked in my head after getting on the antidepressant and I got active, lost the weight I gained plus more and am a much happier person. My ex wanted the divorce 10 years prior to actually telling me.

Be strong. You'll get through it and be fine.

 

[usedto]

Having been married for in excess of 33 years and experiencing a bump or two, I have one minor suggestion.

If, in your heart, you believe the irreconcilable differences can be reconciled, ask your wife to have a complete blood workup from a qualified physician.

Menopause, thyroid conditions, and years of birth control pills can cause issues in a middle aged woman's body that can wreak havoc in a marriage.

Been there, done that, and made it through it.

 

[exhippy]

Sorry to read. It'll be a "weird" feeling when it's all said and done, but life goes on.

Good luck to both of you.
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