Ruth Ellen McDonald (otherwise known as 'mom')

EchoWars

Hiding in Honduras
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A big reason I'm here at the house with my folks is to help mom and dad. Although both have been in generally good shape, both also have problem with daily tasks, and having me here makes things a lot simpler for them. But, mom's health has deteriorated at a scary pace since about late November. Both in December and January she suffered mild strokes...in December it simply required an afternoon hospital 'checkout' (which went well), but in January she collapsed on the couch unresponsive and 911 was called. She was 'out' for about 15 minutes but woke up in the ambulance asking WTF was going on. I heard the paramedics saying that she was joking with them on the way to the emergency room. In any event, she was hospitalized for three days while they ran tests, then came home. She was supposed to see a vascular surgeon ASAP, but the soonest any of those clowns could make an appointment was March. Figures.

She had been having good and bad days, but weekend before last was a bit rough. A week ago Monday she fell after getting dizzy, and while she was uninjured, she had a hard time getting her balance since. I tried to get some work done on Tues. morning and went upstairs to go to bed around 5:30am. Mom always gets up around 3:30am or so and surfs the web and checks email before going back to bed for a couple of hours around 6am or so, and I stopped off on my way upstairs to see how she was (not great, but no particular problem). 45 minutes later dad was hollering for me, and I came back downstairs to see mom unconscious. Shallow breathing, very weak and thready pulse, and poor color. 911 again, and this time we're dealing with what the doctors were calling a 'massive heart attack'. Through all this medical crap we've been dealing with, no one knew anything about a heart problem.

She had a stent inserted in the blocked heart artery, and she was in ICU (St. Luke’s East) since Tuesday the 14th. She had not regained consciousness, and while the docs said that the heart had apparently not suffered as much damage as they would have supposed and seems to be reasonably strong (all things considered), we were, of course, worried about the hypoxic effects on the brain. I had pretty much been living at the hospital since the 14th. And of course, dad is a mess. I’ve never seen him so wounded.

Though comatose, her responses were variously promising and gloomy over the weekend, but we remained hopeful. However, at around 2:30pm Monday the 20th, mom coded. It was brief, and they got the heart going again within seconds, but after the code, she was no longer 'overbreathing' the ventilator, meaning that her breathing was solely at the mercy of the machine. Her pupils also were non-reactive to light, whereas they had been before. She was just worn out...the hypoxia did its job well.

The ventilator was removed at around 6:30pm, and at 6:55pm February 20, 2017, the heart that began beating sometime around March of 1935 stopped, and Ruth Ellen McDonald née Holt was no more.

Dad, of course, is a wreck. Next month would have been their 64th wedding anniversary.

Had more than my fair share of bad moments in my life, but this one was certainly the worst. No matter how much logic says that your aging parents will eventually pass, there's no emotional prepping for it. Mom was incredibly important here as the glue to hold various segments of the family together. We all feel like we're spinning off into the void without her.

My sis and I put together a obit for the website of the funeral home, along with a pic of mom at about 19 years. That's how she looked when dad met her, and I can now understand his interest (I had never seen that pic before).

https://heartlandcremation.com/obituary/ruth-ellen-mcdonald/

There are a good number of AK locals who have been by the house and talked to mom. She always loved meeting the guys who came over and was never short on conversation, smiles, and laughs.

We're going to miss her terribly.
 
Hate to hear that, man. Condolences to you and your family, good on ya for being there for your folks.
 
I am so sorry to hear of this.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.

You and your family will be in my prayers.
 
Having just lost my mom last month I can appreciate what you're going through.
Know that, while she is gone from your world she will live on in your heart and through her good deeds.
 
That's desperately sad news Glenn, my deepest condolences to you and your family.
 
No matter how much logic says that your aging parents will eventually pass, there's no emotional prepping for it.

My late father-in-law, and later on my own mother, both spent their final days in one of the finest care places around. They dealt strictly with Alzheimer's/dementia patients, and knew the progression of the diseases so well that they could literally tell you to the day when your loved one would pass (if you wanted to know). We were there when each of them passed, yet prior knowledge and planning still doesn't prepare you for the moment when it arrives.

Sounds like she led a happy and fulfilled life. My deepest condolences, and a prayer that you, your father, siblings, and other loved ones can soon find relief for your loss.
 
So very sorry to hear of your great loss. Please accept my deepest condolences for your family's loss.
 
"When it seems that our sorrow is too great to be borne, let us think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which our grief has given us entrance, and inevitably, we will feel about us their arms, their sympathy, their understanding".-Helen Keller
 
Greatest condolences Glenn
I lost my father several years ago in a similar manner.
Misery does not enjoy company. Try and remember the better times and forget the recent past. They're never truly gone because we take part of them with us.
 
Glenn, having been one of the lucky ones to have met your mom (and your dad), I know first hand by what you mean having laughs and smiles for everyone.

Your mom was not only a glass half full type of person, she was a "Let me top that off for you" type of person.

My condolences to you and your family, we are with you in spirit my friend.
 
Thoughts and prayers. My dad has the advanced Alzheimer's. Mom's taking care of him at home, as long as he can stand on his own.

Can't think of anything else to say.

The obituary for Echowars' mom was really well done.
 
My deepest condolences to you and your family, and my prayers for you all.
 
Very sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. Lost mine 2 years ago. It helps to think she's in a better place, or at least continuing on her journey. Hold your memories (and family) close.

-Keith
 
I am sorry for your loss Glenn. I lost my mom to cancer 6 months ago after being her caretaker during the last 3 years of her illness. My condolences to you and your family.
 
Prayers to you and yours Glenn. Logic has a lot of uses in life, but handling a loss like this isn't one of them. Only met your folks once and couldn't help but think how they were truly wonderful people. Your folks were/are truly blessed to have had each other for such and long time, and for you as their son.
 
Glenn, You and your family have my deepest sympathies in this trying time.

Keep a close eye on your Dad.
 
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