Stereo solutions to appease a not so understanding spouse

[MCM_Fan]

Man, you have it made compared to most guys , really nice gear!
I have a house full myself, life is so much better when you are both on the same page.

I knew when she bought me that beautiful Zenith console as a surprise Christmas gift our first Christmas together she was a keeper. Well, actually I knew it before then. The console was just icing on the cake. She takes me to a concert every year for my birthday, which we both enjoy, and gets me stereo gear every year for Christmas. I send her flowers, take her out to dinner, buy her clothes, shoes and jewelry. We both enjoy doing things for each other and we both enjoy doing things with each other. We're a good team.

 

[FOH Engineer]

Read through this thread with my wife. She says "well in our place the stereo AND the candles AND the throw pillows and everything else is yours here". I like to decorate. She likes to be warm under a blanket. It works out OK.

Now that's what I was talking about, Hi Fi and music and the husbands and wives interests are not the enemy ( unless they are illegal or hurtful ) you both let each other be yourselves..

 

[Djcoolray]

Exactly....

Consideration for each other is the backbone of any marriage. If a person does not enjoy what another person likes, they shouldn't be married to each other.

 

[stuck limo]

Their wives have some sort of absolute veto. Why would you marry someone like that in the first place?

It boils down to poor life planning by these guys. I specifically sought out a girl who loved music, loved my stereo gear (or at least tolerated it), and helped me realize my life goals and interests. I hit on all 3! If I hadn't, we wouldn't be together. Much better being single than being miserable with a nanny person overseeing me.

 

[sunrayjack12]

It boils down to poor life planning by these guys. I specifically sought out a girl who loved music, loved my stereo gear (or at least tolerated it), and helped me realize my life goals and interests. I hit on all 3! If I hadn't, we wouldn't be together. Much better being single than being miserable with a nanny person overseeing me.

You said it man, but we all know the trojan horse effect !!!
Everything is perfect ,she's the greatest, man this is heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marry me----------------------I Do Were do my understanding bride go!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do you mean little CUBES will do behind the couch

 

[hnash53]

... but many women change once they get married.

Ain't that the truth ! ! !

 

[sunrayjack12]

Pardon the grammar, sometimes I get overly excited about typing something and just assume I have it right.

 

[sjfloat]

Old thread, OP probably moved on long ago, but...

I'm setting up shop in what's essentially a large garage. It's not the most comfortable space -- no HVAC or plumbing -- and I'm sharing the space with the dirty sorts of things you'd normally find in a garage, but it's relatively spacious and it's where most of my copious collection of debris is anyway. So I plan to do my serious listening out there (we'll see how I feel about this come August). But I also plan on setting up a very small system in the house for less critical listening. I'll probably mostly play digital, stream from google music etc.

That's the plan. I have a *lot* of work ahead of me.

1. Yes, that's a cubicle partition to the left
2. Yes, the most of the rest of my stuff is up those stairs
3. Yes, there are some *very* reflective surfaces to deal with

 

[onwardjames]

Old thread, OP probably moved on long ago, but...

I'm setting up shop in what's essentially a large garage. It's not the most comfortable space -- no HVAC or plumbing -- and I'm sharing the space with the dirty sorts of things you'd normally find in a garage, but it's relatively spacious and it's where most of my copious collection of debris is anyway. So I plan to do my serious listening out there (we'll see how I feel about this come August). But I also plan on setting up a very small system in the house for less critical listening. I'll probably mostly play digital, stream from google music etc.

That's the plan. I have a *lot* of work ahead of me.

1. Yes, that's a cubicle partition to the left
2. Yes, the most of the rest of my stuff is up those stairs
3. Yes, there are some *very* reflective surfaces to deal with

View attachment 933865

Work? Yes, you have lots of it.

However, the fun is found in the journey, not the destination (tho the destination will be sweet too).

Have fun, and good luck!

 

[rocknroll1]

I would say, explore whether her core problem is all of the media being visible in the shelving. You could find a unit that's a little lower to the ground and has doors or a cover. If a little narrower, the speakers might be able to slide in along side it and not look too crammed. Or, is the problem that she's just never going to be happy having anything she perceives as "clutter" in that particular room? Then you are probably better off exploring other (nearfield?) options, perhaps in a study or spare bedroom? I have a ton of stereo equipment in play in our house, but I've managed to break it up so it never really takes over a room - tricky to do, though.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest You could try it one of two ways, let her pick out the cabinet or pick one out you think she would like and have it done one day when she walks in.

 

[sjfloat]

Work? Yes, you have lots of it.

However, the fun is found in the journey, not the destination (tho the destination will be sweet too).

Have fun, and good luck!

Thanks and absolutely! In fact, I probably want to kick off a thread on it at some point.

In a sense, audio is inherently frustrating. It's often a compulsion that one never seems to satisfy -- like life in general.

I'm trying to take a stoic approach to this. Anything you can acquire, you can lose. And no matter what I can pull together it'll never *really* be enough. So I will be sure to enjoy what I have now and the moment that I have it in. At the same time, I will try to make incremental improvement to whatever I have and to enjoy the *process* as much as the having and using. I have enough broken toys laying around that it should keep me busy for a very long time. And the crux of the plan is, at each step of the trip, to remember to lay my obsession aside long enough to appreciate where I find myself so that the pleasure of it is not stolen from me by longing for what I dont' have. If I can't wish for what I already have, I'll never get get no satisfaction.

That came out a lot cornier than I intended, but, yeah.

I'm sure it won't seem very significant to many here, but for the first time in a very long time, I'm playing my old cassettes again. I have achieved analog once again and I am having a very, very good time. I grabbed a mysterious unmarked cassette and plopped it in to test the deck and it turned out to be Blood on the Tracks. I didn't move from my spot for the more than 45mins that it played (it actually cut off the last part of the last song). I haven't done anything like that for a while.

So, I'll keep reaching in to the pile until it's finally all returned to service.

Next, revive a turntable...

 

[Tube Radio]

Depends on who pays the house note.

If the wife then she has ultimate say over what goes.

If the husband then he has the ultimate say over what goes.

Also it depends on if the wife has a room for her hobbies.

If so just suggest you take her room for the stereo room and see how quickly she lets the stereo be where you really want it.

That said doing it that way may cause a good bit of friction so some sort of compromise is needed.

Me personally if I wanted a stereo and I had a wife who was not interested I'd probably do it anyways lol.

 

[Bob]

here's a couple of additional thoughts to my earlier post (232):

picture perfect houses are symptomatic of a deep underlying childhood trauma - to have
an overwhelmingly overcompensated living room. it may have been arguments about the
cost of furniture or the frequency of changes. living rooms used to be for peer approval to
have the same plastic coverings as everyone else with knee-jerk comments about
keeping it clean and good-looking with kids.

I have seen unhappy wives redo living rooms, family rooms and kitchens just to compensate
for early childhood divorces and fathers with no commitment. serial remodelers...

its a test that some fail - my wife demands music in every room. wires, black equipment,
racks, and ugly speakers notwithstanding. I tell her I make more money in the stock
market with Bach. She buys the stuff for me and gets the credits.

stack the deck. If you like Magneplanars or Sonus Fabers or Martin Logans, buy them. invite couples over.
tell the men how much you have invested. pre-load the arguments by having the man tell your wife
"wow, those speakers make your living room spectacular" "million dollar family room with the xyz"

like addiction, it escalates. today, the stereo. tomorrow, the cars, motorcycles, the mancave, the
basement, the bathroom. you will be lucky to have an iPod and in ear monitors (those headphones
are ugly and take them out with the trash) and be able to listen in the car, in the winter, when it's
20 below. meanwhile, zappos just delivered 13 pairs of shoes and she keeps all of them.

As you can see, I'm not a fan of psychologically damaged women trying to overcompensate
(not solve) deeply forgotten childhood trauma.

the solution is not your trashing music, it's deep psychoanalysis for her.

 

[nj pheonix]

My first wife made me get rid of the (today i'd say midfi ) set up i had (she didn't like the way it looked).
Now that both she and it are gone, i have a better stereo ( and wife!).
Obviously its a process that you don't necessarily recognize while its happening.

 

[orsen]

i got one of the good ones
i have 2.5 complete systems in the living room
5.0 surround for tv
2 chan system is in my sig which i'll cal 2.5 since its 2 amps 4 speakers a sub a pre and a tube buffer
and very often is a small set up to be tested

thankfully she loves music more than tv

 

[sunrayjack12]

Such a pretty well organized room , everything lined up perfect, I say move your crap out of the room and give it to her.
Then overtime you go through the room move things just enough to drive her bat shit !
Get up in the middle of the night and rearrange things, then go get you a deer head and put it on the wall !

 

[sunrayjack12]

My first wife made me get rid of the (today i'd say midfi ) set up i had (she didn't like the way it looked).
Now that both she and it are gone, i have a better stereo ( and wife!).
Obviously its a process that you don't necessarily recognize while its happening.

Very good move, why be miserable the rest of your life.

 

[nj pheonix]

Such a pretty well organized room , everything lined up perfect, I say move your crap out of the room and give it to her.
Then overtime you go through the room move things just enough to drive her bat shit !
Get up in the middle of the night and rearrange things, then go get you a deer head and put it on the wall !

I now live in a house full of OCD people.
If i did as you suggested, we could put it on ESPN.
My stuff is in mancave out of sight

 

[bluesky]

Stereo solutions to appease a not so understanding spouse.

Impossible.

Most women hate stereos >>> especially speakers. That's just the way it is.

They just Hate them. They can't relate. It's not in their DNA.

 

[Tube Radio]

Impossible.

It is possible.

If a spouse isn't willing to compromise in some way then perhaps the two should have never been married, although the unwillingness to compromise should have been seen before marriage.