hoomans .. making my life difficult + cat dilema

atarione

atarione

Super Member
Sooo as is typical there is a issue that other people are making much more of a cluster f*** than would seem entirely necessary.


So some time ago I posted about this sweet cat that showed up looking cold and hungry and quickly made itself quite to home in my house.

So I made attempts to determine if it was a stray ... turns out he is NOT... but took nearly two months to find that out. Of course my wife and I had stuff to do all day yesterday, our housemate was home when some lady apparently came by looking for this cat, great sorry we didn't know he was your cat ..take your cat and go home with him .... right???

NOOOOPE... so the lady leaves the cat at our house (because he is sleeping) but indicates her son is missing him so if we can get him leave and go back to them later that would be super ....So our house mate doesn't bother to get her number or address or any contact info and the cat when put outside just sat there looking pissed and then ran inside the second anyone opened the door.... i.e. they may think he is their cat but the cat don't seem to think he is.

This is making me quite irritable..because my wife (who has cancer) had grown quite attached to the cat, but she also doesn't want to steal their cat, but it is breaking her heart to have to just try to throw the cat outside and have him just sit there sad and cold wanting back in.


I have no idea how to proceed... thanks to my house mate I'm going to have to go door by door on the street behind our house i guess... f'ing genius not getting contact info...sigh.

While I personally am not sure they deserve the cat...(he was in my yard pretty much 24/7 before my cat passed away and then this cat just moved in... I honestly always thought it was a stray because it was in my yard and or sleeping in my garage all the time.) ... regardless I would like for them to get him back if that is what they want..but I have no idea how to make the cat decide to go back to them? and I'm not going to be mean to this cat.. I will keep him out and not feed him but that is it.. if they want him they need to come get him and take him home and woo him seems like to me?


pain in the butt .... everyone involved is making my life harder also... typical..

sigh...

oh right anyone have any ideas of how to fix this? cause I don't ....
 
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oh right and the other super thing about just throwing the cat outside into the cold ...there are freaking coyotes around here... soooo the cat could well be killed if just left out in the cold.
 
Well it sounds as if the Cat chose Your Family over the 1st owners.
(maybe they didn't treat it right)...So the cat is Yours because it choose You.

Explain to these people that your wife is sick and She loves the Cat...If they have any kind of compassion at all...Even the kid... They'll let your family have it.
 
Keep him in till the woman comes back. When she comes back, tell her that since there are coyotes about, she *must* keep him in or you won't give him back. If she won't keep him in, don't give him back.
 
Cats choose their owners. I think the cat chose you and your wife. Even if you put the cat outside, he will come back.

If it were me I'd keep the cat inside. If the prior owner wants the cat and came back, I'd hand the cat over. But the second the cat came back I'd offer him hearth and home.
 
atarione said:
.............While I personally am not sure they deserve the cat...(he was in my yard pretty much 24/7 before my cat passed away and then this cat just moved in... I honestly always thought it was a stray because it was in my yard and or sleeping in my garage all the time.) ................
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atarione said:
oh right and the other super thing about just throwing the cat outside into the cold ...there are freaking coyotes around here... soooo the cat could well be killed if just left out in the cold.
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I don't think I'd do anything until the lady shows up again. If she didn't take him just because he was asleep, she may never come back.

I got my cat the same way. He was a vagrant that apparently mooched off of the people in several nearby houses until one by one they all moved away except me. Mine by default!

He comes in if it's particularly cold or sometimes when it's rainy. The rest of the time he stays outside. He is probably the most dangerous animal around here, so no worries there.
 
since it was daylight and not too bad out weatherwise ...I left the cat outside near the fence that is in the direction of the other people house when I just had to leave for about 2hours

came home and the cat heard my car and came running up the sidewalk to greet us..

i.e. he apparently kicked it cat style outside and waited for us to come back... i doubt greatly he went back at all to these other people's house (wherever the hell it is???)

f*ck it it is now cold and starting to rain the cat ran inside with us... he can stay I am going to see if the lady comes back and / or go try to locate her i guess (tomorrow not in the mood to deal with her right now...unless she comes here) .. see what is up... may very well play the your cat loves my sick wife anyways you guys can see your way clear to let my wife have him? card... we will see how it goes... cat can certainly stay warm and dry here for now however and until I can figure out what these other people's deal is.
 
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atarione said:
since it was daylight and not too bad out weatherwise ...I left the cat outside near the fence that is in the direction of the other people house when I just had to leave for about 2hours

came home and the cat heard my car and came running up the sidewalk to greet us..

i.e. he apparently kicked cat style outside and waited for us to come back... i doubt greatly he went back at all to these other people's house (wherever the hell it is???)

f*ck it it is now cold and starting to rain the cat ran inside with us... he can stay I am going to see if the lady comes back and / or go try to locate her i guess (tomorrow not in the mood to deal with her right now...unless she comes here) .. see what is up... may very well play the your cat loves my sick wife anyways you guys can see your way clear to let my wife have him? card... we will see how it goes... cat can certainly stay warm and dry here for now however and until I can figure out what these other people's deal is.
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She knows where he is if she needs to find you. I wouldn't stress about it. It doesn't sound like he missed her. I cannot even go get the mail without being welcomed back home like I was gone a month.

Take good care of your wife,

Rob
 
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Man, unless the other people chain that cat up in their yard, he's gonna be back at your place.
 
I can not add in a polite manner to what other people have already said.

You and your wife care more about the cat than the previous owner. The cat would rather be with you. The previous owner has made it a condition that you must compromise the cat's safety and possibly risk it's life to return it to them. And then only to make her child happy; the cat is not a concern.

Do the right thing.
 
I would:

1) When she shows up again, tell her you did as she asked and put the cat outside, and asked it to go home, and cat declined said offer. Can add that your options at that point for returning it were quite limited due to her not bothering to a) take the cat with her, and b) not leaving her contact info.

2) Ask her whether she is asking you to refuse the cat entrance the next time it comes to visit, leaving it outside 24/7 to deal with the coyotes, bobcats, et. al. - in other words, is it ok with her if the cat dies rather than be allowed to visit inside your house?

3) Suggest that since the cat has apparently made a different decision about where it wants to hang out, that she go home and ask her son if he would like instead to come visit the cat at its new home occasionally.

Frankly, any pet owner that didn't take the small step of simply taking the cat home herself fails the minimum commitment to being a pet owner.

My guess is she won't put up much fight over it staying with you and will jump all over #3 since it lets her be a hero to her kid while not having to take the cat back which clearly she isn't THAT interested in doing. With any luck, the kid will be a better person than she is and you won't mind if he comes by once in awhile and hangs out with the cat.

John
 
hey thanx everyone... good points

I sure hope a amicable solution that makes the cat safe / happy can be reached ... I would like it if that solution is my wife keeping him as she LOVES this cat... if I'm honest I love this cat also.

If the previous owner insists on getting him back ...I would hope they realize that they must pay more attention to him / make him safer and happier.

I think that even if I just ran this cat off (which I aint doing honestly) and the cat gave up on coming here ..it would probably leave them for some other port in the storm given a chance... but the cat for his part seems to have made his preference known I guess.

Sweet cat....I wish these people hadn't created whatever circumstance that has the cat looking for a new home in the first place....


but for now .. dark cold and dangerous outside the cat stays here until we can figure this out I guess...
 
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It's pretty obvious the cat made the right choice. The lady wanted to own a cat. You are owned by the cat - enjoy! :D Besides, a responsible pet owner wouldn't have put a demand like she did in front of you.
 
You have time and money tied up in this cat. Tell them just how much you have spent for the care of their cat. BTW ..... How did they find the cat?


Possession being 9/10's or something.



Barney
 
I guess the lady knew the cat came over here ... so finally after two god damn months just about and flyers I put up ..she can be bothered to come over and talk to our house mate about the cat.

I still haven't seen nor talked to her... cat ain't been back over there 24hours after she tt our housemate but she hasn't come back over to figure this out..

I hope this person when i finally can find her, has more sense than the evidence so far suggests...

Yeah... I have spent some money on this guy... totally fine.. but yeah I'm out of pocket watching over this guy for 2months now.

mostly i just want to get this resolved and the cat safe and happy... but I'm also getting a tad frustrated with these people not showing up all day as well....I really shouldn't have to go looking for them at this point.
 
The burden of restitution (so to speak) in not on you at this point. I read the original thread and you've done the proper thing all along.

The burden is now upon the original owners to show that they are able to provide the cat a good home - and since all indications so far is that they have not done so.

But, if they do contact you again, you'd have to ask several questions and get some good vibes about them caring for the cat. If they didn't give me the right answers, I'd be telling them that this cat is now mine.

It could cause trouble, but the cat has played it's hand, and as a Hooman, you have to back it up.
 
Tjetracer said:
Keep the cat. Get rid of the housemate.
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house actually belongs to our housemate :D ...so we could buy the house I guess (don't want it really quite honestly) ..or move.

we probably will pretty soon here...


it hasn't been bad and it has been a mutually beneficial arraignment...for the most part..but OTOH it is getting a tad played out as well.

few months from now we hopefully will have a better idea of a few things on our end (possibly changing locations entirely) .. and some other money stuff figured out (hopefully).
 
Dingman said:
The burden of restitution (so to speak) in not on you at this point. I read the original thread and you've done the proper thing all along.

The burden is now upon the original owners to show that they are able to provide the cat a good home - and since all indications so far is that they have not done so.

But, if they do contact you again, you'd have to ask several questions and get some good vibes about them caring for the cat. If they didn't give me the right answers, I'd be telling them that this cat is now mine.

It could cause trouble, but the cat has played it's hand, and as a Hooman, you have to back it up.
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I have tried to do the right thing from the start of this....

I am hopeful that what the cat wants will be considered in the final resolution...

I'm not eager to get into a hassle with anyone... especially anyone who lives very near by apparently.. but I think that I will tell them however this gets sorted out the cat being out in the dark and cold with coyotes and what have you ain't going to work and if he is I will just let him in to stay.
 
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